


Agony Through Time

by HeartbeatDivinity



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Female My Unit | Byleth, Kinda depressing, baby Edelgard suffers and it breaks my heart, time jumps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23339683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartbeatDivinity/pseuds/HeartbeatDivinity
Summary: Byleth's disappearance pained all her students. But to Edelgard, her absence was agony, and the only confidant she could trust in this matter of the heart, was her diary.These are pages that show agony through time.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg & My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. First

**Author's Note:**

> I experimented a bit with this work, turning song lyrics into diary entries.
> 
> If you want to know the songs, they'll be at the end notes of each chapter. Enjoy!

**_Edelgard von Hresvelg_ **  
**_Imperial Year 1881_ **  
**_27 th of the Lone Moon_ **

_The night is blinding. It was hard to find the way back home._

_I feel myself losing my grip on you, but it’s worth the risk to brave the cold weather, threatening to further tear us apart._

_No matter where you are, I will find you. Please, my teacher, my love, hold on for your life. It cannot be time, I will not say goodbye._

_The fear of losing you is pulling me in deep, like an undertow… but as I always have, I will escape the hands of fate, before it knows I have, all to find you._

_Hold on to your life, my professor, because no matter where you are, whether it's heaven or hell, I will find you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Sam Tinnesz - Hold On For Your Life.


	2. Second

**_Edelgard von Hresvelg_ **   
**_15 th of the Red Wolf Moon_ **   
**_Imperial Year 1181_ **

_I feel like I am sinking in the chilling underwater of harsh reality now, but you have got me clinging at the shore. Your phantasmagoric waves or perhaps my own desperation, just pull me closer now, like a crushing tide impossible to ignore…_

_No, I refuse to walk away, because I feel closer than ever before to finding you. I will not show resistance to my hope, how could I?_

_You might appear in the morning, but I’m afraid. What if tomorrow never comes? Would you surrender us easily? Lie, say I was your only one, and disappear forever?_

_The rush of night breeze against my skin is cold. Yet I’m gladly a prisoner of your love._

_Each month that passes is harder, but I will hang on. Do so as well for me, for us._

_I’ll let this cascade of hopefulness fill my lungs._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Echos - Tomorrow.


	3. Third

_**Edelgard von Hresvelg**  
 **2 nd of the Harpstring Moon**  
 **Imperial Year 1182**  
  
I saw you in my dreams yet again, where I just knew where you would be._

_I swear, my love, that I will stop these bouts of doubt, of fear and irrational thinking, of disappointment and fictional betrayals, when you are back, safe with me. When you come home, I will hide my frightened heart well. I will never cry again, when you come home to me._

_In my paintings of you, I see it. You are not really there, but in truth I still feel your essence, hanging in the air, in the walls of this monastery, in the waters where you would take my hand and make my fears grow weak…._

_I swear that when you come home, I will know what it is to never cry again, that when you come home, my heart will never cry again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Dash Berlin - Never Cry Again.


	4. Fourth

_**Edelgard von Hresvelg**  
 **22 nd of the Lone Moon**  
 **Imperial Year 1183**  
  
All of our friends tell me I should move on… but it is as if I were lying in an ocean of uncertainty, recalling songs, how you sang them for me. Loving you forever can’t be wrong, can it? Even though you’re not here, I find myself unable to “move on”…_

_There is no remedy for memory, especially for mine, tortured without end._

_Your face is the sweetest melody, it will not leave my head, and for that I am thankful._

_Every time I close my eyes, my dreams are a dark paradise. Filled with mirages of you, it is incomparable._

_All our friends ask me how I maintain myself sane, with all the grief I deny to confirm as true to them. I tell them my hope is strong, that we will live on._

_Your soul seems to haunt me, push me forward, but if you are gone, I can’t help but wish I was with you. Every time I close my eyes, it is like you are there, telling me everything is well._

_There is no relief in this real world, with everybody rushing me, and our memories haunting me. There’s no release, until I see you in my dreams, telling me you love me._

_Every time I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise. No one compares to you, and sadly now there’s no you here, except in my dreams these nights. I’m scared that you are not waiting for me, wherever you are. This is why I don’t want to wake up from my dreams tonight._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Lana Del Rey - Dark Paradise.


	5. Fifth

**_Edelgard von Hresvelg_ **   
**_31 st of the Lone Moon_ **   
**_Imperial Year 1184_ **

_Musing through memories, I find myself losing my grip in the grey._

_I have tried in vain to numb my senses, I feel you slipping away._

_I’m fighting to hold on for you, clinging to just one more day of search._

_Did our love turn to ashes, with all that I wish I could say?_

_I’d kill to be where you are, I have given my all to find where you are._

_Every night, I dream you’re still here, a ghost by my side, so perfectly clear, but when I awake, you disappear… back to the shadows, with all that I hold dear._

_I dream you’re still here._

_Hidden companion, phantom, be still in my heart. I t remembers you with the clarity of water as pure as our love. Wherever you are, make me a promise: that time won’t erase us, that we were not lost from the start._

_I dream you’re still here, ever slightly out of reach. I dream you’re still here, but it breaks so easily, with the sunrays of dawn. I tried to protect you,I **try** to protect you, your memory._

_I cannot let you fade, but as much as I try, I feel you slipping away._

_Every night, I dream you’re still here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Digital Daggers - Still Here.


	6. Help

**_Edelgard von Hresvelg_ **   
**_4 th of the Red Wolf Moon_ **   
_**Imperial Year 1185** _

_~~My heart aches~~ _

_~~I miss you so terribly~~_

**_~~PLEASE COME BACK~~ _ **

**__ **

Professor, I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but I hope you do come back to us. Edie has been in the infirmary for a couple days. She won’t admit it to anybody, but I know your absence has taken its toll on her, harder year after year. I found this diary as I was looking for fresh clothes for Edie. Most pages are ruined, perhaps Edie spilled something. She’ll have me killed if she finds out I wrote on her diary.

Do come back, professor, we all miss you. It’s been nearly 5 years, time for a grandiose entrance, isn’t it?

-Dorothea Arnault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song I used to write this work: Efisio Cross - Lettre à Élise.

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Sam Tinnesz - Hold On For Your Life.


End file.
